This is going to be one of those “I feel horrible, so I might as well write about it” moments. You may want to skip over it, or you may choose to sit with me, read what I have written, and offer support (through encouragement, sharing Scriptures from the Bible, and/or prayer). You decide your response.
Typically I don’t talk about the bad days, unless it is a really bad day. I am choosing to write, to talk about how I am feeling. Though it is not a wonderful feeling in my body today, God can use it for His glory and draw others to Him. I need to be vulnerable to talking about it. These days of writing of the pitfalls of chronic illness and Summer, may become much more common in the coming days.
I have been in a rough spot for past several days. I went out, into the heat, on Tuesday for a doctor’s appointment. It is now Saturday, and still in a flare from it. Heat is such a trigger for me. It’s hard. It’s frustrating. I am concerned about what the Summer will bring health-wise, and how far it will set me back – from how well I had been doing.
It’s more difficult than an ordinary “I don’t feel well”. Lately, I am too weak to do anything. Even sitting up to type is pushing it. I need to discover how to live and thrive this Summer. Even as one who does life indoors, there has to be a way to enjoy it. Without the constant reminder of my severe physical limitations and inability to do simple things – like stand to wash dishes or do a load of laundry.
Lord, show me how to do life…and with Your people. Show me how to stay encouraged, while my body is plagued with physical weakness. Keep drawing me back to Your Scriptures where You boldly proclaim that I am not alone. Not only am I not alone, You are also my Healer! You are the One who can help me endure the physical trials, and remain encouraged in spirit. Help me to stay focused on You, when it is the easiest thing to be discouraged. In Jesus’ Name, I pray these things. Amen.
Psalm 84:11 says:
“For the LORD God is a sun and shield:
the LORD will give grace and glory:
no good thing will he withhold from them
that walk uprightly.”
One comfort I have discovered is the following playlist. It helps me to stay focused.